he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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