Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
