So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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