I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
