Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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