Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
