and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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