yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
