party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I understand Curling. That high.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
