Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
