i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
