My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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