I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
