Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My friends, they love my intelligence
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
