I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
