I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
