grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
