Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
