I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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