i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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