I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
