Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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