Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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