You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
