Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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