its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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