Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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