i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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