The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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