So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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