I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
