Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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