Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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