Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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