I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
