where does the pee come out of this thing
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
