So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
