they need to just BURY HIM!
false alarm. still invincible.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
