i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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