Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize