You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
