i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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