I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We had to coat check the pizza.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
