just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
