we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
