Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
