I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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