You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
