I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
