didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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