Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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