hotel room ftw
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
