So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
