oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
