what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
