we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
