Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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