it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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