That's intense
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
