That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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