i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
