I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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