mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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