Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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