Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Can I color on your dick again?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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